Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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