YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
please don't ironically join a cult
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