How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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