why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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