Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize