Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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