Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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