I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
