Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
