How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
