i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
