If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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