I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
