is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
