Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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