Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
