yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize