it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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