Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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