Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You need Xanax blowdarts
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
