respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
