so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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