You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize