Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
