It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
