Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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