I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
