grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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