OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize