Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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