I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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