Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize