Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
