I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
