Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Randomize
