Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I need moral support for this bender
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
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