I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
