The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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