i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
