Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
