Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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