I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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