Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
