im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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