Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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