there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
