Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Be still, my beating vagina.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
