question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
