i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
