he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
