I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
