Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
