Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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