Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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