you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
