Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
