I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
being pregnant is like rehab
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
