Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
