sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
