TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
