this beer tastes like vomit already
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
