Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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