I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
