At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's blow job season.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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