Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize