ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
