if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
