remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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