I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
