your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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