Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize