So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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