I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
