You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
