I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
